Learn To Survive Destructive Criticism Without Getting Pissed Off

Learn To Survive Destructive Criticism Without Getting Pissed Off

Women, it is time to love ourselves and face the people who think they are doing us good.

It is nothing new having to deal with negative comments about our appearance, especially when they come from people we have not seen in a long time. Just like it happened to me recently at my 10 year high school reunion. Many brought a partner and looked very good, but I had just broken up with my boyfriend (and obviously he did not look good at all). Even though my “friends” didn't tell me directly, that destructive criticism hurt me a bit.

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As I said at the beginning, I come to tell you not to pay attention to that destructive criticism that only lowers our self-esteem (the one that, perhaps, is already a bit on the floor).

Criticisms Are Inevitable

Unfortunately, criticism is part of our daily lives, says psychologist Silvia Russek. She points out that in our culture the tendency is to always see the negative, before the positive. In my experience, I believe this to be true. Additionally, destructive criticism does not care about age, because all criticism, no matter how much we want to, hurts. This is why we have to try not to give importance to those harmful comments.

You never know if your acquaintances are doing it with malicious intent or not really realizing that some comments are hurting the person. Most of us do not have the same body as 10 years ago, nor do we have the same complexion, etc. We all grow old, we all change! It's part of life. Then your “friends” come to tell you what creams to use, how to do it to lose weight and how they have stayed in line. The reality is that they need help too, but I don't go around the world telling them that they have to change.

Brunette girl covering her ears.
CREDIT: GIPHY / WE TV

Stay away from those who harm you

It is better to stay away from negative people who never have anything positive to say. Believe it or not, by walking away from people like this you will immediately see a drastic change in how you feel. Sometimes it takes work, but there is no use holding on to people who are not making you grow. To find out what kind of people I'm talking about, ask yourself: Do I feel comfortable with this person? If you were in a difficult situation, how would this person react? If you think that no answer is positive: Stay away!

Snow White saying goodbye.
CREDIT: GIPHY / CHEEZBURGER

How to Respond to Destructive Criticism

I don't know if it happened to you, but when we receive a criticism we never look at how we react. And a lot of the time, at least I, I have stayed quiet or get defensive. By reacting like this, you only give the person who made the comment more power.

The best we can do is find an honest way to express our feelings and put limits on people who think their opinions matter. We can say, for example: "I understand that you think your opinion is very important, but with all due respect that is not the way to say it, and to be honest it is disrespectful for you to express yourself that way." This answer can be used for any situation.

Remember that you should not answer with "a mini revenge" looking for negative things about the other person to respond in the same way.

Woman saying you insulted me and in my house.
CREDIT: TUMBLR / PERRITAS GIF

Have More Confidence & Less Insecurity

The most important thing, and that you have to record very well, is that you have to love yourself. When you have self-respect, the destructive comments or criticism of others will not affect you. Sure, we are human and we have feelings, so they will cause us a bit of annoyance, but we soon forget or quickly defend ourselves. Many times the people who criticize us cause us a little fear or concern, but in reality we should feel the opposite because these people do not love themselves.

The reality is that, by making us feel bad, they feel better because in that way they express that they are not satisfied with their body, in their relationships, etc. So they try to pass their bad vibes on to other people to make themselves feel better. So, the best advice I can give you is to find a way to be satisfied with your body, with your life and leave bad friends behind.

Happy woman in a field with sunflowers symbolizing her freedom from destructive criticism.
CREDIT: ALL FUNDS / GRACIELANILDA

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Noa ramirez

Nací en El Salvador y crecí en Los Ángeles, California, desde hace siete años radico en Phoenix, Arizona. Hace poco me gradué como licenciada en Periodismo y Comunicación en la Universidad Estatal de Arizona. Mi más grande sueño es escribir un libro. Me siento muy afortunada de ser parte de este equipo tan talentoso, al cual le estoy aprendiendo mucho. Me gusta cantar, aunque no me veo como una cantante profesional. También me encanta leer y compartir el mayor tiempo posible con mi familia.